Things that are not socially acceptable

-poking babies in the eye.

-dancing to other people’s cell phone rings

-answering honestly when someone asks you how you are

-putting vodka in juice boxes

-having ex’s meet current girlfriends to discuss how needs were and were not being met.

-discussing hair removal

-telling people that you don’t like their dog.

-lying down on a subway bench

-sleeping in your car

-saying ‘no we shouldn’t’ when people you haven’t seen in a while say ‘we should hang out soon’.

-admit that you actually like being single.

yelling 'walk!!' at dogs in handbags.

-saying congratulations when someone gets engaged, or good luck!

-laughing at a stupid name, ie. Kimee, and anything ending in an ‘I’

-saying 'i'm sorry' or 'oh god' to a pregnant woman.

-admit that you clean for the cleaning lady

-tell people that you liked them better when you first met.

-asking someone on the train if you can use their ipod

-public urination

-discussing public urination or any bathroom habits.

-asking to borrow beer from a neighbor, or anything other than sugar or a shovel

-sampling produce,

-punching professional sport or themepark mascots in the face.

-licking the bowl.

using children's playground equipment

-talking about sex, politics, or God at the top of your lungs.

reception

KIMMY,35
Okay okay okay okay, whatever okay okay okay yes okay. I got it, yup got it, got it got it. Okay okay okay, love you, okay….okay…okay.. bye. What? No. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, it’s just I’m not in a place that’s conducive to talking to you. Conducive mom, conducive. A good place. For talking. No I’m fine. No no that’s not what I meant mentally I am in a good place. I mean physically. No I feel okay. No I’m not sick. I mean for talking.. on the phone. Its loud. I said it’s loud. It’s loud. You can’t hear me because it’s loud. Yes I can hear you. Yes I can hear you. Hello, hello, hello. Mom stop saying hello, I can hear you. I’m sorry, it’s not my fault you can’t hear me. No I’m not blaming you I’m just saying it’s not my fault. Mom can I call you back, can I call you back? Can I call you back? When? later. I don’t know. You need an exact time? Uhm like 2. Okay 2. Okay okay okay bye, okay. I love you.

GABRIEL, 22

for my bro.
I am trying to listen. Past the noise to your music. Listen harder listen harder listen harder hear less try less.past my heart beat , past my pulse, past my ideas of shoulds or coulds that I was convinced were a baseline. And sometimes I hear nothing, but the pendulum of my thoughts, the tick tick tick. And what do you sound like? cause I thought you'd be a trumpet thought you'd be a symphony thought you be an undeniable solo. But maybe you sing like the voice of a child. An angel bell, a bright ring hovering above the sound almost part but above and maybe I just got to listen harder.not to hear but to listen and forget the songs I know.‏ But I don't know what you sound like, and i'm afraid that I'll hear you, and afraid that I won't.

Weight

I'm not going to tell people not to be sad. Because there's a lot to be sad about in this world. But I guess the trick, is how long we sit in it, and if we have a choice in that matter after all? Haven't figured that one out yet.

MICHEAL,32
They say a dead body weighs the same as a living body. Takes up the same mass as a living body. Not to be morose, but scientifically, same matter. Fine I am morose. But these two things physically tangibly are the same. So what’s the difference? The soul, the want to live, faith, the what? Cause whatever it is it doesn’t weigh anything, yet it matters. Separates us from them. Cause there are days that I wish that I was dead. Not dead really, but just asleep, on a time out. Vacation from my body, from this. And I don’t think that makes me instable or unstable or anything, I don’t think there’s a single person in the world who hasn’t thought about that, for a moment at least. Even a second. You’re lying to yourself if you say you haven’t. And I’m fine with those thoughts, because they’re natural. They’re human. Doubt is human. But what I’m not fine with is feeling so weighed down. So weighed down in this mass that’s supposed to be the same. And I recognize that within me is infinite possibility and blah blah blah the potential that is within everyone and the universe and God whatever. I’m infinite I get it, but right now, I’m infinitely in a hole. And every day I have to tell myself to stay awake. To keep my eyes open. To listen. To not go to sleep. Cause how else am I going to feel that thing.

Grey or Gray

The other day I learned one of my best friends made a beautiful decision to live his life, today a rally was held in NYC to protect that. This is for him, others, and anyone else who assumed life would go a certain way or can't.
LILA,32
It’s a complicated situation. But most things are. Complicated. When I was a little girl I thought things were black and white. Right and wrong. Good and bad. Either you loved someone or you didn’t. And surely if you did love them they would love you back, all of you, accept all of you. Hug you in acceptance, just because you loved them. And there was high school and college, and love and marriage and children and milestone markers that people gave you cards for. And that was life. It was recitals and barbeques and summer vacations and baseball games, and boring dinner ‘parties’ in which no games were played. And that was a given, that was our legacy, what was expected, maybe the car or the vacation or the house of the kids would be different than you expected but it would happen it would be yours. And I wanted that. Never did I not want that. I still do.
When I was in college I used to hate my body for making those things difficult, making them seem impossible. Special. I used to pray, I used to pray all the time not to make me like everyone else or make it okay for me to be ‘like everyone else’ or stop feelings or change them but just to be able to experience, in whatever way God or whoever saw fit, just to be able to have me experience and maybe take for granted those things too.
And I know, I know no matter what is and is not legalized I’m not going to have the same taken for granted experience I’m not going to have the same life. But I want the boring dinner parties and the recitals and barbeques and high school graduations, and vacations and a yard. And I didn’t think I was going to have to fight to get them.

Tricks

AARON,19
Sometimes I used to go to St. Mary’s church in the Hague. When the junkies would come out, line their shiny objects on the ground. That’s where I went. When there was no service, it was empty. And I’d take my little dog with me. Put my little dog in my sweatshirt, tucked away in my sweatshirt. And I’d splash holy water on my face, and then splash holy water on my dogs face. And sit in the back, and think of home, or not think at all. Faith, faith is a tricky thing. I fought faith a lot, and people of ‘faith’ fought me. You just ever do so much stuff that you don’t know what you want to be forgiven for? Wrong is relative, cause you’re just trying to live, survive.
I went to catholic school growing up. I’m Irish-Catholic. First generation. My mom wanted me so badly to be an altarboy and I couldn’t cut it. All I had to do was just stand there. And sometimes I try really hard to remember the first thing. The first thing I did where it started. I don’t know maybe it was playing with myself or something. Lookin at men. Mouthed off to my parents. I don’t know. And if I could remember that first thing, if I could ask for forgiveness for that first thing, and gotten it, then maybe I wouldn’t have done everything else. Maybe I wouldn’t be here.
But sitting there in the back, 17 years old, with my little dog tucked in my shirt, dirty, just sitting there I belonged, I was forgiven. Cause people didn’t get in the way.

It's not you it's me

So I haven't been monologuing as I've been writing in her headspace. See below.
http://lindsaymccove.tumblr.com/
www.wonderfullifedailly.com