Sunday, February 21, 2010

My heart

I tried to write a play like my friend Brian. It did not work.
I sent myself a love note. But I couldn’t think of anything to say.
My heart hurts, it's sleepy. It's muddled and stern and serious and talks about itself too much. My heart is imperfectly open yet perfectly closed. It's hyperbolic it thinks it's better than yours. It's sorry it apologizes. My heart gets papercuts and bruised by my brain. My heart gets weepy on the r train. My heart watches old episodes of perfect strangers and tlc's a baby story. My heart laughs too loudly for attention. My heart uses incorrect grammar. My heart is apparently quite self involved yet empathetic. My heart does not edit, steps back. Steps back. my heart wishes that it could love all of you but knows in doing so that love is negated. My heart hates you. Ha.Ha. Just kidding. Oh heart you so crazy. My heart bleeds and beats. My heart sometimes wears dirty underwear and thinks your heart looks fat in that outfit. My heart will go on and on, and on. And never puts baby in a corner. My heart doesn't drink red wine in Italian restaurants with oriental women. My heart doesn't say oriental that's not pc. My heart doesn't care about politics enough to Hand out flyers on a street corner but wishes it did. My heart thinks only five people may find this funny. Fuck those people. That's right you just got heart fucked. My heart plays salsa and. Beethoven's 5th and Huey Lewis and the news. My heart is a patho. My heart ate paste as a child has scaled kilamajaro and rekalked your bathroom when you were on vacation. My heart could be a thumb wrestling world champion if it had thumbs.
My heart forked your yard and totally apologises for breaking your lawn mower.
But it loves you. It loves you so hard. It loves the idea of you..somedays. And it's totally cool with just messing around, although it knows you're better than that. It has no stipulations or restrictions and may be just talking out of it's ass here, but it's open without obligation. Open Open wide, but it will kick your ass if you f' it up.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

more than tongue can tell


what if what if what if I had a sweatshirt with bunny ears and it zipped up in the center and I could see out but you couldn't see in and in it was a bunny face? Would you still love me? Would you still love me if I was a bunny? I wouldn't be a bunny actually but people might think I was a bunny. A scary mutant bunny? Would you still love me if I were a scary mutant bunny? What if I had an extra hand sticking out of my face, like a little baby hand? More high fives? and it could hold stuff, yeah it'd have five fingers uhuh. Would you still love me then? Would you make me remove it, like have hand removal surgery? but what if I had surgery and then had this hole in my face where the baby hand was? Like this hole in my face like bigger than a quarter, like the size of a donut hole. What are those called munchkins, midgets? well if i had a donut face midget hole would you still love me? What if what if I couldn't speak, if I could only scream? Or if I was consistently followed by a flock of sheep, or goats what about pigs, or alpacas? Do Alpacas travel in flocks? What if I was an alpaca? Would the hooves i had hurt your tummy when i came out? Do alpaca's have hoofs, hooves hoofs? do they eat tin cans? Would you still love me if I ate tin cans? Would you still love me if I wasn't yours, if I belonged to Mrs. Fetrow, or an alpaca, or the lady at the grocery store who smells like cat farts, or someone you didn't even know? Like a stranger.What if I was a stranger? Will I ever be a stranger? Will we ever be strangers? Cause if you love someone they can't be strangers right? If you love someone they can never be strangers...