tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15030150444765220162024-03-08T15:32:45.842-08:00thethingspeopletellmeMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-48099779208538544312016-01-06T19:02:00.001-08:002016-01-06T20:11:16.414-08:00In defense of unicorns (free write) <div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Is a norwal real?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Excuse me?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Narwha- Norwhale? No. Norwhal, I think. The whale with the horn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s real. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Honey, I don’t know. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: No I think it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It has a horn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">HIM: A tusk.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>HER: Right. It’s like a tusk, or horn something.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: But what does it do with it?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: With what?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: The tusk? Does it have an evolutionary purpose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Not everything needs a purpose. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: It had to be there for a reason. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The tusk.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the
difference between men and women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Scientifically.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Oh so now you’re dealing with science? Let’s google it. They exist. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: No that men want actions and thoughts, and women want
feelings. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now it’s
psychoanalysis? What does that-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I heard it on a lecture. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>See you’re into
facts too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can we just google it?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: It’s just an observation, it felt accurate to the
moment. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: What does this have to do with a narwhal-whale- whatever?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Exactly, you want answers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Proof. I don’t need it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Scientifically
there’s a reason.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I don’t think there needs to be a reason. Maybe it just
likes it the horn, so it kept it. Maybe it’s just how it was made. Maybe it’s just
pretty.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> That doesn't make sense. </span>Maybe it’s a big
tooth or something.<br />
<br />
HER: I don't care if it's a tooth.<br />
<br />
HIM: A tooth/horn. To attack its prey, and it's been rendered obsolete.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The how doesn’t
matter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Yes it does. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: No, it’s a rare beautiful thing, that we’re never going
to see. The how of the horn doesn’t matter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I think it does, but whatever. </span>What are you
getting at?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If this horned
thing exists, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The narwhale.<br />
<br />
HIM: Narwhal.<br />
<br />
HER: And it makes
no sense that it has a horn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You agree
that it makes no sense?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Sure. That I know of. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well then what
about unicorns…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Excuse me?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Unicorns.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve never
seen a narwhal?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: No. I’ve never seen a narwhal. How much did you drink?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: One glass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay
you’ve never seen a narwhal and yet you say it exists.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure. Just one glass?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Yes! </span>So how do you
know a unicorn doesn’t exist?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You mean like
Lisa Frank shit?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Stop it!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: No it was all over the trapper keepers with rainbows. I think unicorns crap rainbows.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I’m not joking. I’m asking how you feel.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like... you’re a thirty year old woman asking me if I believe in unicorns.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why can’t you
just believe?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a unicorn?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In anything. In
something intangible, in something hopeful, in something possible, magic. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honey-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not everything
has a purpose. You and I together don’t have a purpose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sure we do.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
HER: If we don't have kids societally we have no purpose. "Evolutionarily". You seem to be very into evolution.<br />
<br />
HIM: What? This isn't the scopes monkey trial. This is us. We have a purpose.<br />
<br />
HER: Evolutionarily?<br />
<br />
HIM: We have a purpose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Fine, what is
it?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: We’re together to…to combat loneliness?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I’m not even going to acknowledge that.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
HIM: But you'll acknowledge unicorns.<br />
<br />
HER: You're with me to deal with loneliness?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> That's why people are in relationships.</span><br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">HER: Funny.</span><br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">HIM: </span>You’re mad at
me because I won’t believe in unicorns.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You won’t
entertain the possibility.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of unicorns?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not about
unicorns.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then what is it
about? I’m not having a fight about ugly tooth whales and unicorns.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s about
faith, it’s about magic...it’s about God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: We went from unicorns to God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: You won’t even entertain the possibility of something
existing without it being rational. I need magic. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Then let’s go to the castle. You can see some tricks.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I need someone who believes something bigger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do you think we met?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because we were
set up, and your sister thought I was cute. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to be
someone’s unicorn. I need to be with someone who is okay with not knowing
exactly but hoping. I don’t know shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
need someone to entertain the possibility of what they don’t know, even if they
don’t exist. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re breaking
up with me because I don’t believe in unicorns.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, because you
don’t believe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And maybe you’ll meet a
girl who will immediately google narwhal and the conversation will be
over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’m not her. It'd be easier if I was. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like when you
ask questions.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: You like when they have answers. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'm sorry.<br />
<br />
HIM: It doesn't make sense. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They stand there in silence, he picks up his phone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Narwhals can get
to be about 2100 lbs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I didn’t know that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Neither did I.<o:p></o:p></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-12046856577436655462015-09-10T21:16:00.001-07:002015-11-07T14:52:18.518-08:00The (de) TerminatorFOR WES (who said something like this..,)<br />
So men are like... what's that movie? You've seen<i style="font-weight: bold;"> The Terminator? </i> No. You haven't seen The Terminator? (I lie about seeing 'The Terminator'.) Okay, Anyway... Men men are like the Terminator. They're not robots, but like... The Terminator is sent back in time to like kill one lady. Sarah Connor, Laura Connor... whatever her name is. And if someone gets in the way he'll kill them too. But his target is Laura Connor. This is a bad analogy, I can see you think this is a bad analogy. I'm not advocating killing women.<br />
But it's like okay... a guy will pretty much sleep with any woman, like innately. Like in this restaurant you could go up to any guy, and most likely they'd go for it. Even that guy. We're not that advanced. That lady over there might not be able to go up to anyone, but bare with me... The thing that stops us, you know from like humping everything is <b>logic</b>. The repercussions, the 'is this person my friend?' the 'do I want to see them the next morning?' 'Is this going to get messy?' But basically we are like sexual terminators there's an ideal one and then the others. We're looking for our Laura Connor, our mark, but we'll settle for like protestor #2 if they get in our way. No, no you shouldn't feel bad about it, you should just know that we're stupid and you have like this power. We're easy. I mean listen, you'll probably shoot me.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-50249754374492074862014-11-07T17:38:00.000-08:002015-11-23T15:49:08.403-08:00EVERYTHING (A relationship in two pages.) <div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Well,I want you to tell me everything. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Everything?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Yeah.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Everything is a lot. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Okay. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM It’s just---<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: No you’re right.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM:Everything. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Okay maybe part of everything, maybe I don’t want to
know <i>everything. </i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Which part?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Don’t you want to…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: I mean, sure, yes. I don’t know. I guess.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: You <i>guess</i>?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: I mean I just thought I’d know what, you told me, when
you told me. What's the rush? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Yeah, but how much time do we have?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: As long as we want.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: But what if I want less time than you, or you want less
time than me?<o:p></o:p><br />
HIM: Should we think about that now?<br />
HER: No. Not yet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: And I’m going to get new everything, I mean I’m going
to live, my life. And you are too. I hope. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Yeah, I’d assume so. Hope so. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: But I do want to know things. Like the things you want
to tell me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Are you just saying that? Like what?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Like whatever you want to tell me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: But that’s like a setup.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: It’s like you playing a game to find out what it is I
want you to say that you want me to tell you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: I don’t...that sentence was confusing-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I mean if you want to know something ask. Ask for what you want. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Yeah, but that’s a game too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Okay so it’s all a game then all of it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: You mean this? Us?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Is there an us?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: No. I don’t know. Do you think there is?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I asked you first.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Okay, let’s table that. The us thing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Sounds good. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Good...Okay, so it’s a game.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I mean I guess so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I mean we could gather all this information and it could go nowhere. We could know all these things and for nothing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Like the fact I know my ex girlfriend hated socks.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Yes, right. Like that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: And beards. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I hate beards.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: You do? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Yeah.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: So I’m going to have to shave.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: No, it’s <i>your </i>face. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: But you’d like it better if I shaved.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER; I'd like your face regardless. It's not my face. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: But it’s better shaven?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I just don’t know why you’d hide it, but it's your face.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: It’s not hiding it’s adding.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: It could be hiding pock scars. A lot of times people have beards to hide pock scars. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Do you see pock scars?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: It’s your face. I don’t want to make decisions about
your face.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: But you have a preference. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: It hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you
had to kiss a beard it would hurt.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: So if I want to kiss you I have to shave?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: This is what I meant about only sharing part of everything. You have to build up to this stuff. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Right. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: So what I was saying those facts…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: The beards and the socks?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Yes the beard and the socks are just taking up space in
your head and you’re never going to use them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Right, there’s not like an ex pop quiz.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Right, so maybe I was wrong maybe I shouldn’t know
anything.Don't tell me anything. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: So now you want to know nothing?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I don’t know. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: But what would we talk about?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: We’re talking now?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Yeah, but we’re talking like robots we’re talking like
Mamet characters.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: You like David Mamet?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Sometimes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: You know who David Mamet is?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: I’m not a moron I know who David Mamet is.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: That’s sweet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Good. It's not pretentious?<o:p></o:p><br />
HER: No, it's sweet, smart.<br />
HIM: Oh. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I like socks by the way. I mean who doesn’t like
socks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re like a necessity if you have feet. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: I’m glad you like socks. <o:p></o:p><br />
HER: Thanks. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: What I’m saying is we have to know something. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Even if it’s pointless?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Incase it’s not. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: And when will we know if it’s not…pointless.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: At the end I guess? We won’t know until the end. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: Right. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: And we won’t know everything...<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: We can’t. <o:p></o:p><br />
(BEAT) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HIM: Should we order.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HER: I think so.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-81442505705404811052014-10-14T16:10:00.000-07:002014-10-14T16:10:16.065-07:00swipe<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Excerpt from a short play SWIPE. Sarah slightly drunk has just been stood up by an online date. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SARAH</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I just- I'm going to be honest with you. Okay? Balls to the walls. I don't have balls but if I had them they would be on the wall. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm not an exceptional person. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
No it's okay I'm not. I'm not beautiful, I'm pretty -okay I'm not even pretty, I'm cute. I’m nice. Which is basically what people say when they don’t know what to say. I get jokes, but I'm not funny. I'm moderately intelligent. I have an okay job, It's a job, I pay my bills, and I do it. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm never going to be the best at anything, and I’m okay with that, I’m totally okay with that because I'm a good person. I’m not exceptional, but I’m a really good person. And that doesn't matter anymore. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Think about it. Our generation - our parents told us our entire lives that we were special. That we could be whatever we wanted to be. That we could do anything, get anything. And it's this big fucking lie because we can't ALL be special. We can't ALL be exceptional. And because of it most of us end up always looking for the next best thing and never commit to or DO anything. PEOPLE DON’T KNIT ANYMORE!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(You lost me there.)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's not enough that you like to knit now you have to open up a fucking Etsy store full of artisanal coasters. You can’t have a dog from the pound it’s a ‘rescue’. You can’t just have normal wedding chicken or salmon it has to be fair trade or organic or something. We’re updating our operating systems all the time, you get the 5 you want the 6. There’s always something better around the corner. It’s exhausting. I tried and I couldn’t keep up. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I don't want to be special. I want to be happy. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So what I would say, not my imp, ME. What I would say to this guy, this internet guy, not text him or e-mail him or say to his face his actual face is:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(She looks him dead in the eye. )</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
'You are not special, you're just a guy, who can't make a choice, and thinks people are disposable and whatever you do, whoever you’re with, you're always going to be miserable and alone. And I feel sorry for you'</div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-68851200090408286712014-05-30T21:13:00.000-07:002014-08-07T13:07:52.424-07:00Manic Pixie Dream... Woman? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lA1tbjfYvbM/U4lRV-q2rpI/AAAAAAAAAkQ/NI7GsE4g-Z4/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-05-30+at+8.42.25+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lA1tbjfYvbM/U4lRV-q2rpI/AAAAAAAAAkQ/NI7GsE4g-Z4/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-05-30+at+8.42.25+PM.png" height="144" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Dear Manic Pixie Dream Girl,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes you, the girl whose entire instagram is devoted to you making faces wherein you naturally look pretty holding a stranger's dog, or in front of some silly sign. You are very pretty, and the signs are very smart. But I think you could do better. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At one point in my life I'm sure I was cast in your role for a few moments by boys I didn't know. I had all the outward window trappings at 25/26 /27. I bought into it too, but perhaps was not tiny, whimsical or dangerous enough. I can speak to you because I'm not sure you fully exist; you're an idea created by men that we women appropriated. It's a story, a persona, a haircut you're trying for a while, a dress you got at Urban that you pretend is vintage. This goes beyond thinking the world looks like an Anthro catalogue, you're not only hurting yourself, you're hurting others. You can't be a girl forever. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What happens when the Manic Pixie Dream Girl grows up? </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A Manic Pixie Woman; not such a dream. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You're bored because you were so busy inspiring random dudes to embrace life, that you didn't inspire yourself. They, not having the wear withal to sustain that in themselves, have moved onto younger pixies for inspiration, or those that are less challenging. Your random secretary/waitressing/bartending job is not enough to pay your student loans for the three semesters you took in fine art or philosophy, so you've defaulted. You've been priced out of your magical apartment, the neighborhood is changing as the hip have grown up. Your landlord is upset due to all the noise complaints of your ukelele, and late night Shins, and Smiths records playing. It's been waking up the neighbor's kids. The neighbor's kids dont like you, not all kids like you. Your singing at restaurants, and in the middle of conversation now just makes you seem like you have tourettes. Everything in your wardrobe is patterned. You're 30 years old and don't own a pair of pants. Your stray cat is dead, who knew they couldn't just eat tuna and drink milk? It worked for Audrey Hepburn. If you want to do drugs people make you pay for them now. All of those selfie campaigns now make you a little nostalgic and sad. Who were those posts for? You're tired after years of dragging man-children behind you (Josh Radnor, Zach Braff I'm looking at you.) They've all eventually left you because being with someone who only challenges you, whose moods swing, and may actually be more than a plot device is tough. You woke up one morning and realized that women in their late twenties/early thirties are not meant to be great unsolvable mysteries, and eventually when guys figure out you're a real person they may bolt. In the story those people are the ones you want, this should not be true in real life. You MPDG have groomed them for this; wanting a beautiful mess, wanting a girl not a woman. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know writing this to you may be redundant. It's been done I get it, but as a young woman who came of age with this trope is still affecting our relationships and cries for attention. I acknowledge that I'm being a slight hypocrit. I speak too quickly, wear large framed glasses, love Annie Hall, and talk to small animals. Most people have not seen me wear pants till this year. Although cliche these idiosyncrasies are mine. Yes, I tend to date boys instead of men, and have been a pro at justifying whatever choices they have to make for their story. 'It's his work. It's his family. It's his past. It's timing. He's going through something, It's this thing he has to do on his own.' IT'S BULLSHIT. I can justify the narrative because it's not my story. I've been just a supporting character ; 'The Girl' no... just 'A girl'. As I've gotten older I've grown tired of this. When you realize you're just a supporting character it doesn't feel so cute. Reduced to being the 'supporting girl' you turn into the 'crazy girl'. No one knows they're the 'crazy girl', you're just attempting to get back into the narrative, even if it's a story you weren't sure you wanted to be in. The main characters take you back in bits because they like the inspiration, but it's still their story. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What if we focused on our own stories? What if all the energy of those clicks and likes, and photos were put back into the narrative that was happening now with us? What if that energy wasn't given to what or who we wanted to create or attract? What if we lived out our own ideal? </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One in which other people's stories come and go. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One in which feminine can be silly, grounded and strong; without being scary. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm never going to not be weird or quirky. No matter how many times someone calls me ma'am I'l probably always look behind my shoulder, but I'd rather be curvy than a pixie, and I'd rather create for myself than an audience that isn't really listening in the first place. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(And I don't care what anyone says I still love Annie Hall.)</span> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Drawing by Seamus Gallagher) </span></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-24297871604804516122014-02-28T21:43:00.002-08:002014-04-19T10:42:04.518-07:00The first cut is the deepest (an essay) I remember the first person who broke my heart. I was six, sitting in the backseat of a volvo. It was the first time I realized that you can't make people feel what you feel. It was the first time that I realized that I feel a little harder than most. Her name was Maude Pinter**, and she was my best friend in the world. She had a pet rat that would sit on her shoulder, short curly hair, and she was the coolest person I had ever met. She had this magical confidence that only children have, and this quiet adventurousness that turned trees into nature expeditions. I'd tell strangers about her, starting multiple sentences with "My friend Maude…" which probably prompted a lot of Cat Stevens, and funeral jokes that I was not aware of at the time.<br />
<br />
She had moved away a few months earlier, and was visiting our suburban neighborhood. We were driving back to my house where her parents would pick her up. I don't remember the pre-amble to the conversation, or if it came from nowhere. Most 'break ups' seem to come out of nowhere for one party. I do remember just staring at the door, at the button you press down to lock it, at the handle that let me out. <br />
"You aren't my best friend" she said. "I have a new best friend. Her name is Jenn*."<br />
<br />
In two sentences my identity was shattered. I had so many questions; what did I do to be replaced? How could she leave me? I was the one, I was her one. You don't leave your one, right?<br />
My eyes filled up. I stared at the door handle as the car moved past my elementary school. It's funny, I don't always recall exact conversations but I always remember what I was looking at. My memories of emotional conversations are filled with snippets of looking at street corners, ceilings, chairs, dugouts, but rarely the person involved. I'll remember upholstery fabric but not someone's eyes. I remember the worn door handle and patch of grass in the school yard out the window. I remember wanting to open the door, and just roll out of the moving car, but I kept it together until she left. At six I was wise enough to not give her the satisfaction of losing my shit in front of her.<br />
<br />
My mother recalls me throwing myself on the ground sobbing the entire night.<br />
<br />
"MAUDE!!!!" I couldn't breathe. "MAAAUUUUUDDEEE!!!!"<br />
<br />
I was choking on tears, a flailing pink, blonde, bony mess. I asked why it hurt this much, and when it would stop? She didn't have answers. I imagined this... Jenn. Who was this JENN? Was it 'Jenn' or 'Jen'? Who was this girl was who was better than me, who'd replaced me as the best? Was she seven I bet she was seven! Who was this person who was now the chosen friend of my chosen friend?<br />
<br />
"I want to turn it off!" I said.<br />
<br />
"You want to turn off what?" My mother asked.<br />
<br />
"My heart. I want to turn it off."<br />
<br />
"You can't turn off your heart Lissa."<br />
<br />
"But…I…I…I…want t-t-t-t-t-to."<br />
<br />
"You can't, it's what makes you you."<br />
<br />
"Then I don't wanna be me! I want to turn it off."<br />
<br />
I cried the whole night, and went into the guidance counselor's office the next morning on my own accord. When asked what happened I replied "I lost my best friend." My mother got a call from the counselor asking if there was a death. No death, she just moved to Downingtown. This was the second time in first grade that I had pulled myself into the office. Months earlier I had snuck out of class, and inquired if there was 'a support group for children of divorce'. This time the counselor looked at my puffy pink blue eyes with pity.<br />
<br />
"Well Melissa, perhaps you can make new friends too?"<br />
<br />
Sure lady, and while I'm at it I'll get a new father and new nuclear family. Why don't you give me a pamphlet for that too?<br />
<br />
<br />
Over twenty years later my mother brought up the 'Maude' incident after a recent break up with a guy. It was nowhere near as earth shattering, but then again I wasn't six.<br />
<br />
"You just crumpled on the floor" she said. "You just couldn't understand, and there was nothing I could do to make it better. You cried until you threw up. You were just in it."<br />
<br />
I pictured a small heaving child in a jumper screaming like Brando, and my mother waiting it out by her side. I asked her if she thought at the time that I was a lesbian; in love with Maude, or emotionally imbalanced?<br />
<br />
"No, I just knew then and there that you were going to be incapable of not feeling with everything, and that that would be a scary thing for other people to reciprocate."<br />
<br />
I looked at her and smiled, "Well I haven't thrown myself on the ground since, or vomited. So that's good."<br />
<br />
<br />
*The girl's named was not actually Jenn. It was something stupid that I kept repeating to myself but now can't remember because I was 6. I do remember saying "Who names a kid ___?"<br />
** Maude Pinter grew up to be a lawyer in Ohio, and is a pretty nice person.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-21338974851990759752014-01-13T19:26:00.000-08:002014-01-13T19:26:03.874-08:00The Eyes of Troutman<i>for Annie the best eyes a building ever had. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
ANNIE, 67<br />
<br />
You know they're just trying to kick us out? I don't wanna call. I call them and then it gives them more reason to have me go. And I'm old and on this thing. This breathing box. This machine that gives me life. Ha! Some life. Attached to a box. They don't tell you to save, you know? Don't have kids okay? You have kids, you don't save anything. No I'm not gonna call them, have em get me out so they can sell the place. No one's here. The girl downstairs, a neighbor said she saw her crying over a lover. She's gone, and that window out front, a crackhead could slip into it. Never underestimate crackheads. I'm sure you've never had to consider them before, but they'll get in. They're like human accordions crackheads. This whole place is empty except for you and me, and maybe the guy upstairs, and I'm just stuck- with this box. It gives me the herby-jeebies. It's a siv. It's a cesspool. A siv. And they don't care cause they sold it, to the hasids. And they probably thought they'd get a million for it and then you sit down and they say 750. They change their number when they get to the table, and I'm not being racist or anti-semitic or anything. It happens. They get to the table they give them a lower number. They knock down this place build a high-rise. Drug dealers still live next door. Crackhead's sneak into it as the build it. And you'll go somewhere, back west of whatever, and me? I don't know where I'll go. WIth this box. I lived in Soho, had an antique shop in the West Village. Lived on Mercer. Lived on Jane. This was years ago, when my son Jesse was little. I could have had an apartment in Battery Park, rent controlled but I was stupid. And now they got Brooklyn and I got this thing. I got this box.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-62276651189252078292013-11-26T17:33:00.000-08:002013-11-26T17:57:45.184-08:00Apparently when I leave Brooklyn I turn into Nordic Larry David; A Play in One Act<i style="background-color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="color: white;">There are moments when you realize that you are not as mature as people perceive you to be. </span></i><br />
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<b><i style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">
<b><i style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">A Conversation with a Tribeca Mom, while walking the dog *</span></i></b></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Me: So do you work in the area?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Lady: Oh no I'm just waiting. Going with my daughter on a class field trip -we're walking over the Brooklyn Bridge. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">M: That's great. Cold day for it. You going to go to Patsy's after?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">L: Nooo they don't let them eat that. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">M: ...Right. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">L: Yeah. My daughter goes to PS150 over there. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">M: How old is she? </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">L: Seven.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">M: Oh that's great. 2nd grade? Does she like it?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">L: We love it. She could have gone to 234 but we like 150. 234 is good but 150 is comparable to Hunter, or Chapin, Brearley...Fieldston.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">M: ...Totally... That's good to hear about the public schools in New York. I think about that sometimes. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">L: Oh yeah. We're really happy. Do you have kids?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">M: No, but I like them...(<i>strange look)</i> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Or would like to have them <i>(stranger look)</i></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">...come out of me someday...</span><i style="background-color: black; color: white;">(Even stranger look)</i><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">I mean I'm not there yet, but someday I will be there, or here... or wherever I am. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">L: ...Yeah you don't <i>seem</i> like <i>you'd </i>have kids. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"> (BEAT)</span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">M: Yeah... After conversations like this apparently not..ha...but hopeful...very very hopeful.... </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Only takes one right? </span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><i> (Joke not accepted.)</i></span></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">M: Well, nice meeting you, have a great field trip at the bridge. Don't jump!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><i> (Another awkward look as the dog sits there and refuses to go as I pull him.)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: white;">*</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;">*dramatization</span></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-83014401431989314402013-11-02T19:52:00.000-07:002013-11-12T16:20:08.091-08:00Heartbreak before Myrtle Ave<b>AYANA, 6 sitting on the J train, to the little boy across from her. </b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Kpg4R66Adpk/UnW3J-7-gRI/AAAAAAAAAYM/ykX7NcvWA-o/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-11-02+at+10.37.48+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="116" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Kpg4R66Adpk/UnW3J-7-gRI/AAAAAAAAAYM/ykX7NcvWA-o/s200/Screen+Shot+2013-11-02+at+10.37.48+PM.png" width="200" /></a></b></div>
<br />
Okay. Nah. Nah. Nooo! You do it like this. <br />
<i>(She takes her hands and makes a heart over her chest.)</i><br />
Yeah, yeah yeah, you make a heart and send it to me. No come on send it to me- give it to me.<br />
Like this!<br />
<i>(She places the 'hand heart' on her chest, and pushes it out into the air.)</i><br />
Now catch it! For serious catch it. You catch my heart. I gave it to you. You catch it. I ain't gonna play with you no more if you jus drop it. Nooooo take it.<br />
<i>(She tries again.)</i><br />
It's special. You can't jus be dropping it and not even tryin. Like this.<br />
<i>(She makes a hand heart.)</i><br />
Now you give me yours...<br />
<i> (Nothing)</i><br />
Awhhhhh for real? I ain't give you nothin if you ain't give me nothin back. What you just playin? 'snot funny, 'snot. Come on! Yeah that's how you make it, not give it. Cause it ain't real till you give it away. Then I catch it and I give it back. I'll be careful.<br />
<i>(They send the 'heart' across the subway aisle, back and forth once.)</i><br />
Now don't you drop it. It's almost my stop.<br />
<i>(Back and forth again. He gets bored drops his hands.)</i><br />
IWell ain't you gonna give it back? You took it, you gotta give it back. You gotta give it back. You gotta. You gotta. Mommy he dropped it! I'm sitting. 'Kay. I'm sitting.<br />
<i> (She scootches back on the seat. Quiet. Then...)</i><br />
It ain't stupid, you're stupid. You don't now how to do it right. Like this.<br />
<i>(She holds up her hand heart to her chest.)</i><br />
I just keep it, I just keep my heart. I don't need yours. I got mine. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/google-patents-the-heart-handgesture-to-let-you-like-things-with-glass-8887361.html">(Apparently this movement was patented. My apologies to google.-mo)</a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-32317828501966411742013-10-31T19:22:00.000-07:002014-08-05T16:15:16.822-07:00The first sleep<i>One of the best compliments I ever got from a new boyfriend involved napping together. To me that first sleep says a lot about a relationship. <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N-zYZNWAfZA/UnMQDqSPw1I/AAAAAAAAAX0/-PcxRjKVxxY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-10-31+at+10.20.40+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N-zYZNWAfZA/UnMQDqSPw1I/AAAAAAAAAX0/-PcxRjKVxxY/s200/Screen+Shot+2013-10-31+at+10.20.40+PM.png" height="155" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo by Paul Schnegge<i> </i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</i><br />
<br />
<b>LIZ, 29 (to her non-live-in boyfriend of less than a year)</b><br />
<br />
The thing is...the problem is you're not good at sleeping, with me. At first I thought it was because of me, that we didn't fit. I don't know, maybe that's it. You're a horribly insensitive sleeper. And it's not because of the snoring, I can deal with the snoring, that could be cute. It's just sometimes you hold me, obligatorily, and you let go, and I wake up and you're across the bed. And sometimes I inch my hand, my arm, to touch yours and you flinch. In your sleep you flinch. The most real honest deepest part of you flinches minutes, hours after being intertwined with me. It doesn't matter- it doesn't matter how intimate we are before or after, because then you can't touch me. Unapologetically, you just don't want to. You flinch.<br />
<br />
And i remember the first night, before you told me that you had a problem with it; with sleep. Before I noticed the pacing and Charlie Rose, and that stuff...before I knew that it was a thing with you. I'm laying there awake, so utterly alone, wanting to just touch you, be held. And I inch over and just let my leg hover near your hand, just hover, and you roll over. You just roll away. And I felt cheap and used and alone. And I stared at your ceiling, and I watched your fan move, and I thought I guess that's it. I'll wake up early and he'll offer to make coffee I'll say no thanks and I'll go and we'll both know what it was. If there was any confusion before, the after always makes it clear what it is. But we woke up the next morning and I stayed for breakfast, a sympathy breakfast I thought, and we walked to the train and you held me, you held me tighter than I had ever been held in my life. Like you didn't want to let go, like if you did, something would happen. And you do, you always hug me like that with this extra squeeze at the end - like you're afraid to let go. Like if you let go you'll just crumble, and who knows maybe you hug everyone like that? Maybe that's just how you hug?<br />
<br />
I love you. Against all my better judgement I do. I love you when you're awake but when you're sleeping, when you're sleeping there's a part of you that doesn't want to let me in. It's this unapologetic cold part. It's there when you're awake too, I guess. I'm starting to see that. Maybe it's there when you're lost in work, or disappear for a few days. When you go someplace else and just let me talk, and pretend to listen when I go on about school or my family. It's there in those moments where you're just done, and for a split second it's like I'm a stranger. It's rare, but it happens.<br />
<br />
This whole time, nearly a year now, I've been afraid that that's actually you. I've been afraid that you at night, the you that flinches, is actually you. It could be, because you're not trying to be polite, or a good a guy, you just want what you want. And what if what you really want isn't me? Would we both be better off? You spend half your life asleep, and what if we don't fit? What if you were just nice and made breakfast? What if I just left and you didn't walk me to the train?Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-63027357586553704162013-10-16T16:15:00.001-07:002013-10-20T09:20:44.458-07:00Cry to me. <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><i>(Just imagine Solomon Burke's "Cry to Me" in the </i></o:p><i>background fading out).</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>DEBRA , 45 to her younger co-worker, who is in a bathroom stall. </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t mean to do the whole I’m older than you thing, but I
am. So I will. I don’t know what this is about, or why you left the room, and
I know you’re embarrassed that it happened like that, during the presentation.
Okay, that was unfortunate. You can get some extra tears out on that one. But
you can stay in the restroom as long as you want. If you want I can tell the
guys that you’re on your period and your grandma just died. No, don’t tell me
what or who it is, I don’t want to know. Just stop saying, “I’m sorry” Okay?
Just stop. Stop. Please stop. Don’t be sorry just get it out.<br />
<br />
(She sobs even more.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s fine. Really. And you’re not crazy. Stop saying you're crazy. Stop. Sometimes it just
happens. You know me. I don’t feel emotion. I mean I pretend to socially. I
fake care so people like me, but it’s not my thing. I get sent cute pictures of
puppies and I just sort of feel sorry for them, and the people that wasted 2.5
seconds of their life looking at them. But years ago, this was before I got
married. Joe and I had only been dating for a couple of weeks and he ended it,
did the whole slow fade thing. I didn’t care, he was just some guy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’m uptown at Fairway or Zabar’s getting something to go
visit my great aunt.- I think it was a knish-
and I just start to cry. And I’m crossing 72<sup>nd</sup> street, standing in
the middle of the street, and I’m just sobbing. Sobbing gripping onto this knish
for dear life. I almost fall into the
ground I’m crying so hard, and I’ve never… This went on for what felt like three minutes, just
squatting and crying like I was going to throw up. Heaving. I was crying so hard that I just
started laughing, laughing like an insane person in front of Urban Outfitters,
just laughing through sobs. Teenage
girls were just staring, and I’m in a standing fetal position on the cement with
a knish.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The thing is I wasn’t crying about Joe, he wasn’t important
enough for that. I was crying about me.
I was crying out me. I was crying out everything that I hadn’t.
Everything that I was afraid of that I knew and that I didn’t know about. I was
crying for everything that I hadn’t felt, and then I was happy that I had the
chance to feel all of it. I was ringing
out my system. So I finished. I've completely lost control, which I don't do. I have
mascara just pouring down my face, my eyes look like raisins, and my hair is a
mess. I look like a mental patient. And I rounded the corner, and the fucker is
standing right there. Joe -who lives downtown mind you- is standing right there,
and I thought. “Okay now I am ready, now I can do this, now I have space for
this”. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s like getting the flu. If you get it once a year it’s
healthy because it purges your system. Not to be gross, but you get things out.
And I think that’s what you’re doing now. You’re cleansing the system. You're making space. And
that’s okay; it’s just easier to put it on a person. But that person's just a person. I'll watch the door if you want to keep going. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEu8DrO9PbY">Listen to this. </a></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-64027627932098332992013-10-01T21:10:00.001-07:002013-10-08T16:02:59.171-07:00Drunk Girl Prophet<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
SARAH or MEGHAN (You're not really sure, it was loud). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You ever want to say to someone- to a guy- ‘You can’t treat
me like that, because I am magic….because I am special.’ But you can’t, you
can’t say that because you’ll sound like a fucking insane person. It goes
beyond being immodest you’ll sound like a nut job. And why? You know, why can’t
we say that we’re special and we deserve that back? I mean everyone’s special
relatively right? Actually no that’s wrong everyone isn’t… that girl over there...not special. But we deserve like
the same level of specialness…speciality. Magic-ness. I don’t know, it’s the
wine. I’m saying this cuz of the wine. And like that, like I’d feel stupid
saying this without the wine. So, thank you wine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But yeah, no, we can’t like call people out on their shit,
because that like makes us weak. That means like we’re sensitive when really
we’re just like sensitive to people being assholes. No we have to pretend that we’re okay, that
we don’t care, that we’re okay with these random texts of "Hey how r u?”
How am I? “I’m confused as to why you
can text me yet not see me like a human. I'm confused as to what you're getting from this. I’m confused as to why I’m even
responding, I’m generally just confused.
How am I? Confused. I am confused that is how I am.” Like my grandmother
didn’t get random phone calls of ‘Hey what’s up’ and then a hang up. Like you had to have like an actual
conversation, like you had to be human, like you had to connect or at least
pretend to connect. You didn’t like waste your time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(She
touches both your shoulders, pulls you closer)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You, you are MAGIC, and I’m just gonna be like some girl you
met saying it. And you can like write it off like those crazy people on the
subway who spout prophetic things after insanity. But you ARE. So YOU are NOT going to SETTLE. You have
these eyes, these eyes and they see stuff, they see too much, and it’s like
hard you know, to like float. Like this, this right now for you this, this
party, this bar, this is hard because you see all the bull shit. I like just
met you but I can see that you see the bull shit. You you are MAGIC so don’t
you dim that for anyone. Don’t you float on the surface, and if you have to
leave shit like this early you leave… you leave. But just like trust it, okay? Cause you like
listen, beyond your eyes and ears you listen. And it hurts to hear and see so
much, but you hold out. Okay? You hold out for that person, where you're like 'Yeah that's it', and you'll like know cause like you'll be nervous in a good way. And in the meantime when
those guys ask you how you are “How r u?” like 1:00 AM you say “I’m fucking magic”. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-53665792699304182732013-08-27T22:21:00.002-07:002013-10-02T16:35:29.551-07:00the pill<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ffWf8dDa8lE/UiPrrhAFWAI/AAAAAAAAAVo/M9alRXVK6LY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-08-31+at+12.34.28+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="135" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ffWf8dDa8lE/UiPrrhAFWAI/AAAAAAAAAVo/M9alRXVK6LY/s200/Screen+Shot+2013-08-31+at+12.34.28+PM.png" width="200" /></a><br />
<i>A short in honor of those going through breakup season. </i><br />
<br />
She didn’t want to take it, but it sat in her palm. It was
hard enough to puncture the silver foil, to place it in her hand. It sat there
staring at her. A glass of water, and it would be done. Her friends urged her
it was the right thing to do, “You don’t let things like this go on for too
long”. "It's been a few years on and off, you know it's not right. ". She still wasn't sure. “It’s not something you abuse, but you don’t want it do you? It’s too
risky to keep.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She did and she didn’t…want to let it go. Maybe that was the guilt, she wasn't sure what was guilt and what was right. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She thought back on all of it, and he came in parts now. He
had left just last night, but already he was in parts. His hands that were always chapped, always. His eyes, and this sad
face that looked too old for his age. Too many lines, but always seemed to
smile. It was probably because of the smoking, that he had quit now that he was out west, perhaps the west was good for something. They had fought one final fight, after it happened. An attempt to break the intimacy that was barely there. It was a slip up, a one more time thing, then a fight. It didn’t seem explosive
enough, as if they both hadn’t cared to fight anymore. She exploded wanting a response, and got nothing. He took it. He left, she went out to get coffee, take a
walk, and his things were gone, the few things he left there. He left his
sunglasses, he was always leaving his sunglasses places. She wondered if he left them on purpose. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You might feel a little sick” they warned her "that's normal, it's a lot to let go". It was a lot to let go, she thought, it was a person. A person is a lot to let go. She wasn’t
sure she wanted it to be done with. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be done with
his too tall stride and laugh, she thought at least this way she could have a piece
of it when he was gone. She could maybe try and forget that the stride was
somewhere else. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The pill sat in her hand, the glass of water in the other.
She stuck it on her tongue, and pictured his face and she washed it down, tried
to hold onto his eyes, his eyes smiling one last time, and she washed it down. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So after this nothing?” She asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You won’t remember any of it, any of him, not even his name. You’ll just
wonder where you got this pair of sunglasses”.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-15458460058288465312013-05-15T16:04:00.002-07:002013-10-02T16:33:17.104-07:00<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6hfX1QtwXi8/UZQShVpQ1CI/AAAAAAAAAU0/lwvt4j8OklA/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-05-15+at+6.55.08+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6hfX1QtwXi8/UZQShVpQ1CI/AAAAAAAAAU0/lwvt4j8OklA/s320/Screen+Shot+2013-05-15+at+6.55.08+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">THE ZOO</span><br />
NICK, 38<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You always remember what you were looking at. You don't remember what exactly was said or the syntax, or order, but you always remember what you were looking at when it hit. The reality that your life would never be the same. That you're parents weren't perfect. Ducks. I was looking at ducks. My parents took me the Zoo. In Philly they have this big pond, they're famous for it. It's in that book about a swan by the guy who wrote Charlotte's Web? No? Anyway it's huge, huge pond. And my Dad sits me there, and I'm so excited, so excited to go to the zoo with my parents, together. And I'm looking at these ducks, this duck family, with the mom and the dad with the green head I think, and these little baby ducklings, and I think that's just like us, the three of us, together, and then he says it. That he's leaving my mother, moving back to Charlotte. My mother doesn't say anything, she just cries, holds my hand. And it was done. He said he'd see me in the Summers, he didn't even offer to take me with him. Like I was some consolation prize for her. "Sorry the marriage thing didn't work out, but here's this kid". In one sentence my father managed to ruin Zoos and water fowl. And I just smiled and I said "Okay". I didn't ask any questions. I didn't ask about the work trips on the weekends, and sitting in the volvo when he ran into a friends house. I didn't want my mom to hear, or try to answer for him. I was a kid, he was my dad, and what he said I believed. Until the ducks. I went to Charlotte every other Christmas, every year she'd get me fishing equipment, and I don't fish. He didn't get me in the Summers. The drive was too far for her, and she didn't want him to leave her alone with the baby. My mom tried to take me to the zoo, but I'd always get sick the day before. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I don't want that for my kids, with Julie and I. I know things change, people change. I'm not saying I'm going to stay in a marriage that doesn't work. But if it does happen, if I do have to tell them, I'm going to make sure they're looking at me. </span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-81235194296547621452013-05-13T15:58:00.002-07:002013-10-02T16:40:16.724-07:00It's the silence.<br />
KEVIN, 36<br />
<br />
It's the silence that kills you. The deafening silence and an idle mind. Friends stop calling because they don't know what to say, and you don't know what to say either. So you're glad they don't. Her parents don't know how to treat me, and mine are useless. My mother keeps sending me cards. And I hear people, I hear people saying it because I'm sure I've said it. "At least they didn't have children". Like that's better, like I can just wipe it away with no record. No one to be accountable to. We almost did, I guess it wasn't a kid really it was an almost. We had broken up for a year, got back together. We'd only been dating six months, and I was just about to take the bar, and she didn't know what to do with her life. We weren't really solid. We just weren't ready, it just wasn't- and I wouldn't have been a good dad, not then at least, but um "Thank God!" No one to explain this to. Not that I could explain it to anyone you know? People just look at you different. I have this buddy from grade school, who I haven't told, because he looks at me, how people looked at me from before. He looks at me like me. And when he asks how I'm doing, he's genuinely asking, not asking to make himself feel supportive. There's no congratulatory empathetic pause when he asks, he just asks, and if he listens for a response it's cause he chooses to. I'll tell him eventually, when it comes up. But it's waking up at six in the morning with no shower running, no clothes left on the bathroom floor, no half drunken french press. No sounds of the clinking, the heels in the hall. She liked the idea of a no shoes household but we never got there, she had to see how they looked, every morning. She could have worn them with the same outfit a million times but she had to see. Like it could change. So there was the clicking. She was small but loud, always listening to music, always humming, always moving. Sometimes it annoyed me, she'd never stay put. But it's the silence that's what does it.<br />
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-7641622640382742452013-04-09T10:21:00.000-07:002013-05-11T11:31:07.295-07:00Manatee Baby; Voicemail. <span style="color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><i style="background-color: black;">Left on a voicemail at 2AM. (Not actually, but use your imagination).</i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BYD-0WpCWPI/UWMX-RJMuMI/AAAAAAAAASs/5sBGwvYAas0/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-04-08+at+3.16.20+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BYD-0WpCWPI/UWMX-RJMuMI/AAAAAAAAASs/5sBGwvYAas0/s200/Screen+Shot+2013-04-08+at+3.16.20+PM.png" width="200" /></a><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I dreamt we had a baby, and it had huge blue grey manatee eyes and asked a lot of questions. And we fought sometimes, and laughed sometimes, and I got sad when you got sad. And we carried him on our backs up mountains, and on subway cars. And he had big lips and would cry the deepest cries, cry scales, and make noise, and keep time on a plastic drum. And we weren't ajways happy, and we weren't always sad, and we (the manatee baby and I) would make pancakes when you slept in, tired from work. I'd let you sleep in. Let you dream. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
</span></span><br />
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">And this is odd, an odd thing to wake me, an odd thing to say, to call you and say. Not because it couldn't happen, because anything could, but because someone else is dreaming of an actual baby - with real eyes, and sadness, happiness, slings, and breakfasts, and that's hers. It's tangible, almost, it's a thought that could be real for her, a wanted day dream that she deserves to piece together to have ownership in. I don't have that. This was just an image that woke me one night, of huge manatee eyes that looked like you and me . It's been a while so I forget what your eyes look like, but they were ours I guess. Yours and mine. </span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">But the truth is it woudn't work. I wouldn't let you sleep in, I'd need your help and wake you.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-33620677025196655262013-01-10T20:58:00.000-08:002013-01-10T20:58:38.357-08:00A poem (sort of). And the world is small, and the world is big, and the world is many things in between. And love is not what I thought it was, nor what i think it'll be. And nothing much is what it seemed, or seemed to me, when things used to rhyme, or seemed that they did... And perhaps my wants are getting closer to the want, I wanted before I wanted anything, before I really knew what it was like to want, stomach ache want, fear want, empty want, eggs and peanut butter want, and thought that someday we'd all just have. And my wants and haves are different now, different than my seems and woulds, due to could haves and shoulds. I thought I'd have a specific should but I don't. A should to hang my hat on. There were a lot of shoulds who seemed like shouldn'ts, and shouldn'ts who seemed like shoulds, and for the most part, they were mostly good. And you wake one morning, take a bath, and realize that there wasn't one that got away, that perhaps it was you that got away, and there you are. So you get out of the tub and you dry yourself off and get dressed for your day. <br />
<br />
<br />
<i>(I haven't written a poem since I was a teenager, please forgive me). </i>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-22179133476437507282012-12-08T19:59:00.000-08:002014-12-08T13:34:55.282-08:00The first guy<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I usually keep these things fictional but today is my Dad's Birthday. Below is my first attempt to write about the legend that is my father. </span></i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-67x_HQx3Oic/UMQLu9CDpqI/AAAAAAAAAME/jLXKeu32r_Y/s1600/photo-13.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-67x_HQx3Oic/UMQLu9CDpqI/AAAAAAAAAME/jLXKeu32r_Y/s200/photo-13.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i>
I've been thinking a lot about my Dad. In my twenties I feel like I dated many versions of what I think my father was like in his early twenties. Tall nordic looking boys, who like to talk about Joseph Campbell, music, and drink whiskey. Boys that can talk for hours about art, and creating, boys who can make you laugh, but hold a little darkness. Boys who do their own thing, despite yours. I imagine that's who my father was, the tall blonde, pensive, troublemaker at the end of the bar who could talk about anything. If I had met a guy like my father in my twenties, that guy would have surely destroyed me. Luckily I met the real deal later, or earlier, depending how you look at it. .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> It's a strange to realize that my father was younger than I am now, when I was born. Just six years older when after two kids he was thrown into a divorce. He was forced to grow up, and balance his emotions with that of two small people. Sometimes he was better at balancing those emotions than others, but he tried. For a while I held up what he wasn't, what he couldn't understand about me, what I couldn't understand about him. In one of the only e-mails that my dad ever sent me he wrote: 'The key is getting to trust people as they are, and not as you want them to be' , I'm still trying to implement that one. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
So on this his birthday, I'd like to list some of the things I've learned from my father, the most beautifully strange man I know. Qualities I'd want from anyone:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /><u><b>Explore, don't be to precious with creativity</b>.</u> If you have an idea try it, make it. Making things is for the fun of it, for the process, not to please anyone else. This was done with everything from balsa wood planes, to ice cream in coffee cans, to tin foiling our entire house like a castle. (Yes, my dad tin foiled the exterior of our house like a castle.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
<u><b>Find humor. Chances are you're probably taking yourself too seriously.</b> </u>This was true of me 87% of the time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
<b><u>As a woman you should know how to cook, sew, use power tools, curse, and fix your own toilet. </u></b> Not knowing what to do with two kids on weekends, my dad decided to teach us everything. We found ourselves doing everything from going to zydeco halls to building birdhouses. The sight of old men gawking at two blonde children flinging themselves across the dance floor, is one I will never forget. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Because of him I can put up my own shelves, fix my own toilet, fix my own clothes, host a hell of a dinner party, and yes my mouth does get me in trouble. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
<u><b>Don't write a lot, but when you do write in CAPS.</b> </u>I have only received only two e-mails from my Dad, both were gorgeous and written in all CAPITAL LETTERS. In art school when you drafted you wrote in all caps, so Dad still does. He doesn't get virtual yelling yet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
<b><u>Find creativity in the little things;</u></b> Whether my dad bakes a cake or fixes a garage, he does it differently. Cakes have blue icing, garages diamond shaped windows, picture frames have poetry carved into them. He doesn't talk about these things, he does them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /><u>
Education through humiliation</u>;This involved my father dancing at gas stations, singing the Rolling Stones really loudly anywhere, and asking me in a grocery store, and in front of my boyfriend at the time if I was a lesbian. His take on this; it was fun, and "<b><u>Don't care what others think, that's their problem."</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
<b>You can connect with anyone.</b> The one time we went trick or treating with my father, we had to pull him down the street as he was talking to everyone. Candy was not plenty that year.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
Never stop learning, but learn for you. <b><u>Be curious. </u></b> My dad reads the dictionary, literally. His fascination with the iPad is amazing, he's pretty much going to culinary school through that thing. I think this is genetic as Google may have been the worst thing that has ever happened to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><u><br /></u>
<u><b>Make space for yourself</b>; </u>this can be found early morning on the jersey shore, flying a kite, sitting on your porch, or watching the Eagles.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><u>Never call when the Eagles are on</u>. (See reasoning above.) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
<b><u>Sing loudly, even if it's off key.</u></b> However, your kids may eventually know the difference, and pick on your for it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /><u><b>"You were the best tree out there."</b> </u>My dad used to say this to me after shows whether I was in the chorus or the lead, reminding me that whatever I was doing it was important, but not too important. For the record I played an ant in college once, but never a tree. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
<b><u>Listen to music.</u></b> Do it, now. Stop reading this. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
<b><u>Rest when you need to.</u></b> Sundays on dad-weekends were notorious for fried apples, biscuits and NPR. I remember sleeping away entire weekends at my dads, because he let me. When asked why he didn't wake me 'Cause you needed it or you wouldn't have taken it".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><u><b>'Ultimately marry someone who is nice to you.</b> </u>This seems intuitive, but a lot of people don't do it. Dad has now taken to closing phone conversations, not with "I love you" but "Okay, marry a nice guy." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /><u><b>Whenever possible break patterns.</b></u><b> </b>'Patterns of thought are things we hold onto to preserve our ideas and sense of self.' Whether it's the pattern of who you think you are or the route you take to get somewhere, switch it up and see how you feel.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
<b><u>Sometimes in art you have to go back from a place of 'not knowing shit' and 'stop trying, clear your mind of perceived thoughts, and just listen.'</u></b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><u style="font-weight: bold;">Get outside. </u> Whether it's to throw a foxtail, fish, fly a kite, write, or read a book; sometimes you just need air. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><u>"I'm not an artist I'm a guy who makes things, I can be an artist when I'm dead."</u></b> Value your work, but don't take it so seriously that you become pretentious. People will stop telling and showing you things, then you'll never make art.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><u><br /></u>
<u><b>Don't post everything on the internet.</b> </u>Keep your own artistic endeavor for yourself. (Trying at that one, Daddy, trying...)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-55634441954884153992012-11-02T21:42:00.000-07:002013-02-08T13:43:03.761-08:00Dear New York,<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Dear New York,</span><br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O1BoXJoJqRQ/UJVZPFkgWiI/AAAAAAAAALk/kLX7Pexhd5I/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-11-03+at+10.48.56+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to tell you that I wish I was there. I do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> I'd probably be one more brooklynite soaking wet, and offering her shower, but I wish I was there with you. I'd be one more Astorian playing 'apples to apples' drinking whiskey in the dark. One more east villager, taking shelter in other boroughs, but still I wish I was with you. Just one more person laying claim to you. Perhaps I'd feel as helpless as I do here, watching anchors wading in water, and calling those with working phones, who seem to say "we're okay, we're here", who the day before said "we're okay, we're just waiting". Maybe it's selfish, but I wish I was with you, for the waiting then and now.</span><br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O1BoXJoJqRQ/UJVZPFkgWiI/AAAAAAAAALk/kLX7Pexhd5I/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-11-03+at+10.48.56+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" height="172" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O1BoXJoJqRQ/UJVZPFkgWiI/AAAAAAAAALk/kLX7Pexhd5I/s200/Screen+Shot+2012-11-03+at+10.48.56+AM.png" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I wish I could be in the Rockaways, or Staten Island, Dumbo, or Brooklyn Bridge Park, doing something, giving something, instead of sitting here as people complain that it's a bit too cold. I bite my tongue as they say "It's only like 40 blocks right? Can't they walk?" or "They get storms all the time you'd think the hospitals would be prepared". I leave the room knowing this is said by people who can barely drive in three inches of rain. I say nothing, because I guess I know, I no longer have claim to you. After leaving you over a year ago, I imagine I have as much claim to you as I do to my childhood weekends at the Jersey Shore.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I've wasted a lot of love letters. Retroactive love letters, sent after break ups and almost relationships. I've wasted a lot of words on things and people that didn't deserve them, and yet I don't know what to say to you. But I'll try:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> You are the most resilient bitingly beautiful place I know, and you harbor the most amazing people in the world. People that have come from all over the world to quench their curiosity in your harbor, to get lost or be something bigger. People who are filled with humor and love and passion, people who create from days stuck inside, and days walking your streets, people who need to feel the ground under their feet, people that chose you. You are the most beautiful place in the world. Not because of palm trees, or sea views, or cliffs, or things that mother nature should claim, not because of ancient architecture or aesthetics, not because of old world european charm, or consistency, or history but because of your pulse; your people. Your people; they come to you with their beautiful restlessness, their need for consistent re-creation, for simultaneous anonymity and community, for simplicity, and resilience. Your people who move through your grooves and you in turn shape us. You give us the hope that you can literally turn a corner and everything shifts, that you can stake a claim in a city of 8 million, that you can be saved from loneliness with a smile across a subway platform, that you can recreate. A little water never hurt you, you've been through worse, and will weather worse. Perhaps if you could speak you'd tell us we we're overreacting, that you're cool, you'll deal with it. The lights will all come on, and you'll brush yourself off. You always do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Miles away I wonder if the basement of 40 Jewel is flooded, if the roof at Garden Place is holding, if the vegan baker on St, Marks is going to be able to afford repairs after his lease went up. Is McGuinness is at a stand still as people wait for gas? I wonder if Cup on Norman is serving coffee to those on their way to walk the bridge, and they probably are. And it's strange because miles and miles away, this is the most I've felt like and least I've felt like a New Yorker in my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">-MO</span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-75419099480423688432012-10-31T21:38:00.001-07:002012-11-01T18:52:04.671-07:00Choose.LINDA (43)<br />
The thing is Martin, there a million different lives you could be living right now. You could entertain the idea of that girl in LA you dated in college, or the one you never did, or the job you were offered in Portland. There are a million different choices that you could have made that would have led you somewhere else. You could be vacationing in North Korea like you wanted, or working for Legal Aid in some far away country, or having whatever amazing adventures in your head that you thought you'd have. Who knows maybe in some alternate universe you're happy with that girl, and you have that job, or your single and your kayaking in Iceland, or your still in your hometown married to Maya, or whoever. There are a million people out there that you could be with, that you could be content with, if you just chose them. You could be with anyone if you actually chose, if you weren't constantly looking for something. But you didn't, you didn't do any of that. You used to say you wanted your work to succeed so it would be like you lived everywhere in the world at once. You can't have everything at once. You have this. So choose it. Choose us. Cause we're what you have. We want you to choose us. To be here.<br />
This isn't something I, or life did to you. You get a vote here, and every day with your complacency, you choose this whether you admit that or not. I actively choose this. I choose you, every day I wake up and I re-decide. I recommit by being here, with you. And yeah, it's not going to be as exciting as the what ifs and the could be's, and photos and e-mails of other possibilities, but that life that probably would have gotten mundane too. But it's here. And it's yours. And you can commit to that, you can accept that, and be here, or you can just go and always wish you were somewhere else.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-22477032686081042272012-10-24T17:31:00.000-07:002013-10-17T09:21:08.665-07:00Not for our eyes. (Based on words from a friend)<i>There are things that are not for our eyes.</i><br />
If my mother could have googled my father she would have run, or maybe he would have, regardless I wouldn't exist.<br />
There are things we shouldn't know, of others others, unless we are told that there are others. There should not be photographic 'proof' to mill on. There should not be images or videos of who people are perceived to be, or want to be perceived to be, not who they are when they pause on the phone line, not the sentences they form that are intended for us, looks intended for us, words intended for us. It just gives our narrative pictures, springboards for the mind, and instead of creating things we create stories.<i> There are things that are not for our eyes</i>. Things that came before and things that came after. Things that never come so we build them.<br />
<br />
For a while, I looked for signs of who she was. Of photos or posts, or words or clues, or something that could indicate that she existed. That she tried to piss on your wall. Essentially that's what we do right, we piss on people's walls. Boys walls, girls walls, like dogs. Mark our territory through likes and comments and here here here here I am. And I haven't marked you in a while, I haven't read you in a while I haven't spoken to you in a while. I haven't seen your face, or heard your voice, I don't know if I want to, if there would be a point, but yet it's okay that we're intertwined. It's an agreement we made before all of this, that, and the offense of pulling out at this moment would make something out of <i>nothing, or maybe it wouldn't. </i>And I hid you on some-things, others I can't. So I'm thrown some of you, and you me, and our feeds cross and our friends cross. It seems quite stupid feeds crossing, when two actual voices can't even speak.<br />
<br />
<br />
You built me, and I built you. You'll build someone else, and I will too. It's what you do with the person who is there in the morning that matters, and maybe our stories didn't hold up, maybe hers will, maybe his will.<br />
<br />
And the thing is we all build people. Create a narrative to suit ours, regardless of word bites, and photofeeds, tweets, and updates, and likes and dislikes. Since humans met they've been building narratives. 'I like the line of his cave drawing of an antelope he must be sensitive. " " His shoulders are broad he'll be a good provider and husband". "Her hip to waist ratio means she must be fertile" is replaced by a million meanings for an arm touch. "He listens to NPR, so someday we'll listen to Ira Glass on Sunday mornings while making pancakes with our two point five children". We fill in blanks after a beer, a glass of wine, some coffee, a night. Eventually though those memories fade until the next contact or were eventually replaced by actual reality. We built a frame and replaced it with solids when we knew the foundation was there, in relationships, in friendships in everything. We earned actual facts and in the meantime our imagination held places for some, not all but some.<br />
<br />
<i>There are things that are not for our eyes</i>. Before this there were people we never knew existed that we never knew to build. People I will never meet, that might live miles away. People with bright eyes, or too much eyeliner, who like the same music, or have bad taste in music. There are people who travel, and seem sweet, or sexy, or trashy, or simple or just different, or some other adjective I choose to put on them based on mere pages. People whose very existence make me seem like a stalker. People who probably don't know I EXIST. People who I wouldn't recognize in the grocery store. I'm sure some have built the narrative around mine, around digital me, one that is far more exciting than the reality. And I'm sure there's a girl somewhere thinking I'm another's other, pissing on someones wall. And the truth is if she or I just built stories around ourselves, and lived those stories, we'd both have more to show for it.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-25297727419835166932012-08-15T20:40:00.001-07:002012-08-15T20:53:35.897-07:00SHAKEKYLE, 33<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CHekFxTzI3U/UCxmiARsuMI/AAAAAAAAAK8/kWXuqpM5uiE/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-08-15+at+8.17.56+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CHekFxTzI3U/UCxmiARsuMI/AAAAAAAAAK8/kWXuqpM5uiE/s200/Screen+Shot+2012-08-15+at+8.17.56+PM.png" width="200" /></a>'Shake it off'. My dad used to say that. I hated it, it was so condescending. I was in little league, a catcher and I sucked. I did. I sucked. And these guys would just ram into me. Into home. Full force and I would just get the wind knocked out of me. And he'd call from the stand. 'Shake if off'. 'Shake it off Kyle'. 'Let it go'. I mean that's what people say, and you don't really think about it, it's just what people say. Well not everyone, like when you get into a car accident you're supposed to stay put. Survivors have been known to have huge adrenaline rushes, and just run for miles in a minute, just run into a field or something, and just shake. Right after an accident. Because that shock, that feeling needs to go somewhere. Physiologically animals do it, they're scared they shake, they show it. They release it. But not us ' we stand up straight, we breathe, we toughen up'. But instead modern medicine, they tell us to stay still, don't move. Sit tight. So it just sits there in us. The trauma or feeling or whatever you want to call it.<br />
<br />
And I was just sitting there at my desk, at work. About 4:30 at work, and finally I was still, really still, feet flat on the ground. And my hands and my feet just went numb, and my arms twitched, vibrated. Because they wanted to move, needed to move. And at first I wanted it to stop. I tried so hard to make it stop. The feeling. So much so that I couldn't breathe. 25 minutes. And it wouldn't, they just kept moving. Cause God, it's been months. I've been trying to shake this thing, ignore this thing for months. deal with it, And at first I resisted, the pulsing, the bubbling, because I've talked about it, you know. Talked about him you know? Thought I made whatever peace I needed to make, for now at least, whatever peace I could. Because how do you, I mean that takes time. But there I was just moving. Twitching under my desk, as people walked down the hall. Shaking under my desk. And I just decided to sit in it, sit in the shakiness, sit in the discomfort, and let it pass through me. Be free in it. Almost enjoy it. Let bits of it go. And I don't know what it was. I don't know if it's stress or tension, or thoughts, or regrets, or not forgiving stuff, or him or I don't know. I just know that when it was done, I slept in for the first time in months I was so exhausted I slept right through my alarm. Annie had to wake me up. And I could hear him. "Shake it off Kyle. Take your time, and shake it off, It's your game". I should have been a better catcher.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-1486137072983195182012-08-05T01:39:00.001-07:002013-07-04T16:54:56.043-07:00PARTIES<i>For guys, at parties in LA, whose potential I see while staring at their shoes and eyes.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>'That's interesting... Really. The things is'... The thing is I don't care. I don't care about your band, or your comedy show, or your unironic/ironic cover of 90's, or that you play 6 instruments including the key tar. Or that your gig last week was great, that you say it was great. I'm sure it was great. Or that Portland sucks, or that San Fran was cool, and that you're just happy to be back. 'So you can focus, you know? on other things? Other projects'. Or that you're instagraming this as we speak. The thing is; I would care, I could care, if you cared to ask anything about me. I look at you and know that I could care. That I could severely utterly care about these stupid, benal, idiotic things that you share while holding a beer, if you cared about my stupid idiotic benal things. Asked about them; my stupid idiotic benal things. Because we all have stupid things. And that's just what you talk about, you ask about, until you break through. Until you choose to care. And that's why I ask questions, every question I ask you, I hope that the response is that thing, is that one thing that will break you through out of the stupid and idiotic and into the real. And I don't want to know this shit; I want to know who you think you are, and you who you think I am, and who you want to be when you wake up in the morning, and who you end up being by the days end. I want to know what you're afraid in others, in yourself. I want to know if you sleep with the light on, and why. I want to know what your real laugh sounds like. Not the polite one you do in groups out of courtesy, the real one. I want to know what flits past your eyes when you close them, what you see ahead when they open. I want to know that song you love, that movie you love, that line that makes you think, that word, that phrase, that cadence, that makes you laugh, makes you you. I want to converse in a way that makes the youness of you and the me-ness of me just float, be, meet, dance. . But instead I just say 'that's... that's really interesting' and quietly sip my wine and wait for you to care, as you look around the room.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-20218276882012818322012-06-09T00:31:00.001-07:002013-08-15T07:37:35.272-07:00paralysis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mhK9-nmcuyw/T9RiN47PS4I/AAAAAAAAAKI/6CnMmX-DKoY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-06-10+at+2.00.14+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mhK9-nmcuyw/T9RiN47PS4I/AAAAAAAAAKI/6CnMmX-DKoY/s200/Screen+Shot+2012-06-10+at+2.00.14+AM.png" width="200" /></a></div>
I missed the turn because of the tears, and thought there was a turn where there wasn't, so I waited at the intersection at the light in the turn lane with nowhere to turn, and cried. I cried because I felt my leg. I felt my leg on the break, and I realized 3000 miles away, she couldn't. 3000 miles away my mother's leg was numb, and it burned, the plaque intercepting her nerves from the feeling. I realized the plaque could grow until there was no feeling left and that she, just not it would be paralyzed. I thought how many times we've used that word, misused that word, 'paralyzed'. "Unable to act, the absence of motion, of feeling". Perhaps for a moment i have been unable to act just for a moment, a second, by fear, or guilt, or life, or just that feeling of not quite being in your skin. But i have never really been nothing, felt nothing. I feel too much, there has always been a something to feel; whether it be pain or fear or joy or even apathy. I have never felt nothing. "Nothing, no motion. Frozen. No life, no heat. Dead. Numb." There's nothing after that, no kick, no step, no freedom. Stuck.I thought of this as I waited I thought of her feeling nothing.<br />
<br />
It was a quick call, hours earlier. It was an after the fact conversation about emergency rooms and plaque, and a casual reference of not being able to move much less walk. A simple 'So this thing happened' like she was telling me about a minor bump in a parking lot. My mother mentions her illness with the casualty of sharing going to a new restaurant. "So by the way I'm on IV's now". There's a certain flair for the dramatic and self indulgence she's never had, so I inherited most of it for her. Since seven I've been feeling for her, but I couldn't feel this. <br />
<br />
Here I was, on the opposite coast, my foot on the break, my foot on the gas, in motion, mobile, a task I do mindlessly. Music purring through the speakers mindlessly. When I walk, steps I take mindlessly, thoughts forming words mindlessly, these fingers I type mindlessly, ungratefully. I can't be grateful after every step, every task ,because that gratefulness is too scary, the fragility is to scary. The trust is too scary. The brain tells me to move and i move, I scratch my head, I squish my toes, I think to speak and before i can think it, it is done. But tonight maybe she can't, in weeks she might never, so I feel my foot on the gas, and turn. Not quite sure where I'm going, but I turn because I can.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1503015044476522016.post-40636266740414457022012-05-24T22:07:00.001-07:002012-07-26T20:42:06.612-07:00frequency<i>LAURA</i><br />
Maybe they were all lies. Everything they said what they saw. Maybe they were the kind of things that people think they want, but the idea of sustaining that being in the presence of that is too much. Maybe I'm..forget it. This isn't about me right? You said this isn't about me? And I know you think you're different, but you're not. I mean you are because you're you, and I care about you but- You all talked about, my hands, my fingers like you talked to each other like you were paraphrasing the same script. Because you can say all those things, you can say all of it, and I can say things I don't really mean to try and make you stay. Recycled turns of phrases that I can twist but I'll believe in the moment, and it doesn't matter what you say, or I say because you're still going to leave. That's how this is going to go. After we have that obligatory cry you're going to leave. You left in your mind weeks in, moments in, and you've just been riding the obligation of that presence. Because they all leave. I mean I guess everyone leaves everyone eventually right? And it's my fault my frequency that I'm sending out in the universe... the same thing just coming into my orbit, listening for a bit.<br />
<br />
And yeah sure, in about two sentences you're going to say that we'll keep in touch, that I'm 'special' or some bullshit that you want to be part of my life in some 'context', but you won't, we won't. Because I don't turn it off, can't turn it off. And I wish, I wish I could change the channel to some pop song or something, but I'm.. I'm Phillip glass. No that's pretentious I'm.. I'm that Bon Iver album you listen to when you first get it, and then after a while it's just too hard or it reminds you of something else... it's just too something. And you like it, it's a good album it's just not a 'fun' album. I don't know. And you'll try to call at first, and we'll get coffee twice and pretend it's normal so you can feel good about yourself, but then you'll just let it go. Let me go. All over again. And I'll find out over the internet that you're engaged to some girl, some boring, simple easy girl, at least I'll tell myself that that's who she is. Simple. And I'll envy her for being so simple. And staring at a screen I'll wish I could be more simple.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15926538247980073433noreply@blogger.com0