Sunday, February 21, 2010

My heart

I tried to write a play like my friend Brian. It did not work.
I sent myself a love note. But I couldn’t think of anything to say.
My heart hurts, it's sleepy. It's muddled and stern and serious and talks about itself too much. My heart is imperfectly open yet perfectly closed. It's hyperbolic it thinks it's better than yours. It's sorry it apologizes. My heart gets papercuts and bruised by my brain. My heart gets weepy on the r train. My heart watches old episodes of perfect strangers and tlc's a baby story. My heart laughs too loudly for attention. My heart uses incorrect grammar. My heart is apparently quite self involved yet empathetic. My heart does not edit, steps back. Steps back. my heart wishes that it could love all of you but knows in doing so that love is negated. My heart hates you. Ha.Ha. Just kidding. Oh heart you so crazy. My heart bleeds and beats. My heart sometimes wears dirty underwear and thinks your heart looks fat in that outfit. My heart will go on and on, and on. And never puts baby in a corner. My heart doesn't drink red wine in Italian restaurants with oriental women. My heart doesn't say oriental that's not pc. My heart doesn't care about politics enough to Hand out flyers on a street corner but wishes it did. My heart thinks only five people may find this funny. Fuck those people. That's right you just got heart fucked. My heart plays salsa and. Beethoven's 5th and Huey Lewis and the news. My heart is a patho. My heart ate paste as a child has scaled kilamajaro and rekalked your bathroom when you were on vacation. My heart could be a thumb wrestling world champion if it had thumbs.
My heart forked your yard and totally apologises for breaking your lawn mower.
But it loves you. It loves you so hard. It loves the idea of you..somedays. And it's totally cool with just messing around, although it knows you're better than that. It has no stipulations or restrictions and may be just talking out of it's ass here, but it's open without obligation. Open Open wide, but it will kick your ass if you f' it up.

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