Apparently when I leave Brooklyn I turn into Nordic Larry David; A Play in One Act

There are moments when you realize that you are not as mature as people perceive you to be. 

A Conversation with a Tribeca Mom,  while walking the dog  *

Me: So do you work in the area?

Lady: Oh no I'm just waiting. Going with my daughter on a class field trip -we're walking over the Brooklyn Bridge. 

M: That's great. Cold day for it.  You going to go to Patsy's after?

L: Nooo they don't let them eat that. 

M: ...Right. 

L: Yeah. My daughter goes to PS150 over there. 

M: How old is she? 

L: Seven.

M: Oh that's great. 2nd grade? Does she like it?

L: We love it. She could have gone to 234 but we like 150. 234 is good but 150 is comparable to Hunter, or  Chapin, Brearley...Fieldston.

M: ...Totally... That's good to hear about the public schools in New York. I think about that sometimes. 

L: Oh yeah. We're really happy. Do you have kids?

M: No, but I like them...(strange look) 
Or would like  to have them (stranger look)...come out of me someday...(Even stranger look) 
I mean I'm not there yet, but someday I will be there, or here... or wherever I am.  

L: ...Yeah you don't seem like you'd have kids. 

                               (BEAT)

M: Yeah... After conversations like this apparently not..ha...but hopeful...very very hopeful.... Only takes one right? 

                               (Joke not accepted.)

M: Well, nice meeting you, have a great field trip at the bridge. Don't jump!
 (Another awkward look as the dog sits there and refuses to go as I pull him.)
*
*dramatization