THEM:Tonight the role of Melissa Jane Osborne will be played by....
ME: Wait wait, I'm here. I can do it.
THEM: We know we've just decided to go in a different direction. With you. We just want someone a little more... you. Not like you now, but you of the past, a you of the future, a more hopeful, shinier you.
ME: You want a more you-me?
THEM: A more you-you.
ME: That sounds like a softdrink.
THEM: See like that. More fun and flirty and light, less introspective, more possible!
ME: So you're asking me to pretend?
THEM: No no genuine, genuinely be less...
ME: Ha! Damaged? I'm not-
THEM: Okay I wouldn't say 'damaged', I'd say less- less..shadow-y. But still edgy. But egdy in a bright way. But not bright like smart, not too smart. But not stupid just...
ME: Just what?
THEM: See, like you with the questions! The questions are good, if they're curious. We just want to go younger with it.
ME: But I am me. I mean I'm the age I'm supposed to be.
THEM: Chronologically. But energetically...
ME: So you want me to forget?
THEM: Sure, just less layers.
ME: But I gained them.
THEM: Right, but there's microdermabrasion.
ME: Life microdermabrasion?
THEM: Sure. Oh, and we'll have to get your boobs done.
THEM: More proportional, whatever ideal you would have. The nose is fine we can leave the nose it's a very you nose.
ME: Because it's my nose.
THEM: Right. Totally right for your nose.
ME: So you want me to...
THEM: Not over think it. Just be light.
ME: Be light?
THEM: Not like 'lite' but 'light'.
ME: Now I feel pressure to be light.
ME: Like promiscuous?
THEM: No not necessarily, not physically.
ME: So intellectually?
ME: You want me to be an emotional whore?
THEM: Yes, sure, feel things for people. Make them feel things. Preferably good things. Give them a release. Ask them things, make them think you care.
THEM: But don't, I mean you can but it's not necessary. Oh and we'll need to lighten your hair.
ME: So I can be lighter.
THEM: Right. And do that laugh thing where you open your mouth, do that a lot. Oh oh and pet puppies.
ME: Puppies, there weren't ever puppies.
THEM: Well there are now. We added them. Think of them like puppies in the inside.
ME: Internal puppies?
THEM: Yes like little golden retrievers jumping through your soul. We need you to be more of a golden retriever, and less of a...
ME: Black lab?
THEM: I was going to say mangled street dog with cataracts, but sure. Yeah, just be you.
ME: Just be me.
THEM: But don't over think it. Don't hold on to it too hard.
ME: So let go.
THEM: Right. I really think this is going to be great really. Just uhm take the note and give it another pass .. okay?