Saturday, October 17, 2009
I want for her
I want for her to take things for granted. To wake to her alarm, sleep in on Sundays. Delight in burnt pancakes. Do laundry promptly. I want for her to have boyfriends grilled by my father on the front porch. I want for her to be annoyed yet love this grilling. I want for her to not need these boyfriends. To count her freckles, wear sunscreen, to laugh loudly in libraries, to believe she deserves to be in every room. She does. I want for her not to know hungry, or scared, or that shakey feeling of walking alone at night watching onesself. I want for her to love her forehead, hell love her fivehead, and hips, and go to the cobbler when her shoes wear. I want for her to meet Jong, Shakespeare, Jagger, Richards,McCartney, Lennon, Lady Day, Jim Henson, Redding,Hepburn, Stewart,Cukor, Mitchell, Taylor, and anyone else who makes her smile/think/laugh/sing/dance/challenge/excavate. I want for her to travel. To have no debt. Be good at something, know it. I want for her never to sit accross from someone, a candle in between and wish she were anywhere else. I want for her to eat cheese, wear jeans, floss, learn a foreign language, moisterize. Be an adequate speller. Wear ridiculous heels and sneakers in inappropriate places. I want for her to have a car, a house, a job, a plant, a dog that she does not force to wear clothing,health insurance. I want for her not to care about things. But still appreciate the artistry of a tailored coat or cupcake. I want for her never to feel dependent, never feel a disappointment to anyone, insufficient of funds, insufficient of anything. I want for her to trust, trust feelings, trust safety. trust that there's a reason, maybe not even get lost in the reason. Forget that, I want for her to trust her. I want for her not to write the same tapes over and over, play them back. I want for her to avoid men with accents. and perhaps those with tattoos, perhaps not those with tattoos. (Dependent on tattoo).And everyone has an accent, even she'll have an accent. I want her to not be ashamed of her accent One that will come out when she's drunk or exhausted...that strange 'a' sound. I want for her to buy a dress just because, buy flowers just because, buy a bottle of vodka just because. Wear her hair short, long, dark, light. Wear white. Go to Concerts, go to Italy,go on road trips without getting nauseous. To not be ridiculously corny, (say what she would write) more graceful,more here. I want for her to sing loudly at karaoke. To run. To not regret. To do do do. To do be do be do. To be. I want for her to partner if she sees fit, perhaps try a few fits on for size. I want her to give without being taken. I want for her to never want.